Apple Tarts & Tequila Shooters
by Lady M28
Summary: Christmas decorating at Lorelei's leads to the annual Gilmore Christmas party. S7, Part 3 of 3 to my Lorelai & Finn trilogy. ONESHOT! COMPLETE!


**AN **at the end.

**Disclaimer** - I own nothing, otherwise I would have partial custody of Finn! Sue me not.

**Apple Tarts & Tequila Shooters**

"Oh, my God!" Rory exclaimed, jumping backwards, turning to bury her face in Logan's shoulder. "What are you doing?" came her muffled question.

"This isn't the first time you've seen me naked, love," Finn returned.

"But it's never happened on the stairs of my _house_!" she retorted.

"I've been naked several times at your apartment, I'm really not seeing the problem here, darling," he replied drolly.

"Well, I was a bit drunk at the time, so it's all a little fuzzy, and it wasn't on my mother's stairs, coming down from her _bedroom_!" she shot back emphatically, with a stomp of her foot. "I think I'm scarred for life now," she whined.

"Ace, it'll be alright," Logan soothed, shooting a raised brow at his naked friend. "What are you doing here?" he whispered. "Like that?"

"Finn," Lorelai shouted out, the backdoor slamming, as her footsteps came toward them. "Your clothes are in the washer, it will be a couple of hours, I'll try to find you something to wear in Rory's…" she stopped dead still in the arched doorway between the kitchen and the living room, then twitched, not seeming to know which way to go. "Why are you standing there? Like that?" she asked after a couple of minutes, her hand over her eyes like a visor.

"I was looking for a towel, there aren't any in the bathroom, and you'd already taken my clothes, love," he pointed out logically. "Not that I didn't willingly surrender them."

"They're in the closet across the hall from my bedroom," she said, pointing with her free hand.

"Ah, logic prevails," Finn, replied in a deadpan. "I think you really just wanted a reason to steal my clothes from me."

"Can I look now?" Rory asked from where she still had her head buried in Logan's shoulder, after hearing Finn turn and head back up the stairs.

"Yes, all clear," Logan, laughed.

"What is _Finn_ doing in our house _naked_?" Rory cried out, turning to her mother, one hand on her hip the other flinging to point up the stairs.

"Yes," Logan agreed, his mouth starting to twitch, "I'd like to know the answer to that one too, actually."

"It's all perfectly innocent," Lorelai started.

"That's _Finn,_ he's in _our_ house, he's _naked_, there's nothing innocent about that," Rory blustered, pointing emphatically.

"He's helping me put up some lights outside," her mother said, pointing to the porch. "He was up on the ladder, Babette was checking out his ass, he was flirting shamelessly, and somehow got a bunch of leaves and mud on his clothes, I'm washing them for him. It was totally innocent," she finished, her hands raised in front of her.

"You did remember that we were coming over tonight to help decorate the tree?" Rory questioned a look of accusation still in her eye.

"Yes," Lorelai sighed, "which is why his clothes needed to be clean. I told you he'd invited himself over to make popcorn and cranberry garlands for the tree, he got here this morning."

"He got here this morning?" Logan questioned. "He doesn't get out of bed voluntarily till sunset at least."

"He got here bright and early, saying he was here to do whatever I needed done," Lorelai nodded.

"He really does have it bad," Logan muttered.

"He's like a richer and drunker version of Kirk," Rory shuddered. "I really didn't need the visual of him stark naked on the stairs today, or ever."

"I wasn't planning on you having one myself," Lorelai laughed as well.

"You do remember that we all have to go to the Christmas party, cum, engagement announcement, cum, whatever, at Emily and Richard's tomorrow night. Right?" Logan questioned.

"Yes sir," Lorelai nodded. "Insufferable stuff shirts to add to the mind games and this year I get to have everyone whispering about how my kid's getting married before me behind my back," Loreali grated, hand to her head, obviously not pleased at the prospect of her parents annual Christmas party. "At least there will be endless booze and the apple tarts are always worth the price of admission."

"The apple tarts are wonderful," Rory agreed.

"Logan, do you have some clothes here I can lend him?" Lorelai asked. "I was about to go check Rory's room to see."

"I don't think so," he shook his head. "It's not like I've stayed here very much, just twice now. But we can check."

"If you don't have any clothes here then I don't know what I'm going to give him to wear," Lorelai replied. "I'll have to give him my robe or something else of mine."

"He'd probably like that," Logan chuckled.

* * *

"My fingers have gone numb," Finn whined.

"Why do you care?" Logan asked with a chuckle. "You're used to numbed extremities, that's normalcy for you."

"Normally it's a voluntary state, achieved from much voluntary liquid imbibing, mate," Finn shot back. "The only manner of physical exertion I engage in is forearm curls of glasses filled with nectar of the gods. This is slave labor, very different."

"This is voluntary, you don't have to be here," Colin pointed out.

"I'm helping Lorelai decorate for Christmas," Finn replied, as if the answer were obvious. "Where else would I be?"

"Yes, but it's still voluntary," Colin replied dryly.

"I know," Finn hopped up, grinning. "We should hire people to make the garlands. That's what people are for, so you can hire them to do things. We can make drinks and watch! Cheer them on!"

"You don't hire people to decorate for Christmas," Lorelai shook her head.

"Of course you do," Finn replied. "You hire people to do anything that you don't want to do. Do you really think Mitchum and Elias climb on top of Huntz Manor and string the lights? They hire people to do it."

"Well, find me a newspaper fortune and I'll hire people to make my popcorn and cranberry strings," she laughed, throwing popcorn at him. "Until then, keep stringing. I promise Irish coffees and eggnog to the first one to ten feet."

"Why didn't you say that to begin with?" Finn asked. "Incentives are always welcome. Or better yet, why not serve drinks whilst we were stringing?"

"I figured you needed your motor skills fully functioning to keep from impaling the needle in your thumb," Lorelai chuckled.

"Ah, well, good point," Finn, conceded.

* * *

"You do realize that it's warmer inside and there's booze in there as well, love?" Finn asked, sitting down next to Lorelai on the rim of the fountain in her parent's driveway.

"Yes," she groaned. "But there are also lots of bitchy, judgmental people as well. I'm not sure which outweighs the other on the scale of appeal versus completely unappealing."

"Well if you don't go inside you won't get a chance to see what horror Shira's tried to pour herself into tonight," he coaxed. "And there's booze," he reminded.

"I think you already mentioned the booze," she chuckled. "You know I've only come in very brief contact so far with Frau Huntz thus far."

"Oh, well, Shira's quite the treat," Finn started gesturing, indicating a large chest and poofy hair. "Logan gets his panache from the Dark Lord himself, and his style. I'm not really sure what he got from Mother, except that he's fun loving, she can be when she tries. Though I think she's inserted an overly large rod up her ass to compensate for her more base instincts."

"I've heard she's from a more humble background than one might have expected, that banjos might be involved" Lorelai smiled wickedly.

"She is, her family isn't exactly one that traces their lineage to the _Mayflower_, no, that would be true. Fortunately, the Huntz's don't either, so it wasn't ever required in a potential mate. But still, not really what anyone would expect from the Huntzberger heir," Finn nodded. "Are you ready to face the lions den? Reinforcements are beyond the gate, or at least plenty of courage in the liquid variety."

"You won't leave me?" she asked, threading her arm through his. "I don't think they will be as vicious if I'm at least attached to someone."

"You're unafraid of the scandal of a younger lover?" he asked, brow arched.

"What do I care?" she shrugged. "I've been a scandal and disappointment my entire life. Why should that change because my daughter's going to announce her engagement to the heir to a multi-billion dollar newspaper fortune?"

"Then lead the way, fair maiden," Finn bowed. "I'm ever ready to play Dustin to your Anne. Plus, I have a nose for finding the quickest path to the bar."

"Well, thank God for small talents," she laughed.

"Did I tell you that you look fantastic, love?" he asked after she had rung the doorbell.

"No, and how would you know, anyway?" she questioned. "I haven't taken my coat off."

"Ah, yes, but those shoes are made for sin, and I can't imagine wearing them with an outfit that doesn't do them justice," he replied, ushering her through the door, handing his coat to the maid. "See, I was right, sinfully delicious," he waved at her figure hugging black cocktail dress.

"You're insane," she laughed, but appreciated his compliment.

"No, I am a man that has met his destiny, if you would only give in," he grinned. "The bar beckons, though," he continued, offering her his arm. "Shall we?"

"I think we shall," she agreed. "Oh, and if Rory's father tries to commandeer me, kiss me."

"With pleasure."

* * *

"Lorelai, really," Emily hissed. "Must you embarrass us? Tonight of all nights?"

"Why are you concerned about tonight, of all nights, Mother?" Lorelai slurred. "I've been embarrassing you for at least twenty-two years, why should tonight be any different."

"Rory's engagement is being announced tonight, if you forgot," Emily continued to hiss under her breath to her daughter.

"Ah, yes," Lorelai replied sarcastically, "slaughter the fatted calf, or is it us that gives the Huntz's cows, I never can remember how that goes. She's the ritual sacrifice at the alter of social prominence. What's being a Gilmore if you can be a Huntzberger?"

"_Lorelai_, _really_," Emily bit, looking around to see if anyone had heard. "You need to stop drinking for the night. I realize you don't care for the Huntzbergers, even if you do like Logan now, but you could act your age and not make a scene, if not for me, for Rory. You can do what you want on your own time, but to humiliate your entire family, and Rory tonight, by having some inappropriate escort that's young enough to…"

"Young enough to be a friend of Logan's," Lorelai interrupted.

"What?" Emily asked, confused.

"Finn, the Aussie you're talking about, he's a friend of Logan's," Lorelai, replied. "You've never met him?"

"No, I didn't realize he was a friend of Logan's," Emily returned.

"Well, he is," Lorelai nodded.

"So you didn't bring him here tonight?" Emily questioned.

"No, Mom, I didn't bring him. We happened to meet up as we were both coming inside. I know him through Rory and Logan, that's all. There's nothing scandalous here," she waved her mother off, no need to fill her in on the fact that Finn would happily make it scandalous.

"Well, we're going to announce their engagement in the next ten minutes or so, go find some coffee," Emily instructed, turning to leave.

"I don't need coffee, not tonight," Lorelai muttered.

"You rang, darling," Finn sang, returning to her side, drink in hand.

"This is going to be a short trip," she replied, gulping down her martini. "I need a refill."

"I'm always ready to supply refills, love," he laughed, turning to head back to the bar.

* * *

"We proudly announce the engagement of our granddaughter, Rory to Logan Huntzberger," Richard smiled, clapping breaking out in the room.

"Oh God," Lorelai groaned at the applause. "I need a drink."

"The correct answer to any question," Finn replied. "I'll be right back."

"Fuck this shit," Lorelai, muttered. "I need some real fortification, no more of this half assed bs," she continued, turning to head off toward the bar.

"Yes, ma'am," Finn clapped, trailing behind her. "What did you have in mind?"

"Tequila, lots of tequila," Lorelai replied.

"I only drink tequila when in Mexico, and as I don't go to Mexico…"

"True love is found at the bottom of a tequila bottle, you're going to deny true love?" she questioned, raising a brow.

"I'll have to revise my itinerary," he laughed. "Mexico and Connecticut in winter are beginning to look remarkably similar."

She ordered a tray of shots, and turned with a, "Shall we?"

"We shall," he agreed hand on her back. "Where to?"

"How about the pool house?" she suggested.

"Pool house it is," he agreed.

* * *

"So what's the story with tequila?" he asked after taking his first few shots.

"Every major event in my life has been accompanied by tequila," she slurred, waving her glass. "Rory was conceived at the bottom of a tequila bottle. I fucked her father on the balcony here after tequila too. Called him when I was about to marry someone else, too much tequila. Humiliated myself in front of the entire town after a few too many of these. It's the story of my life."

"Ah, it's your comfort drink," he murmured.

"I don't understand, my daughter's twenty-two fucking years old, I have no doubt that she's not going to fuck this up," she mumbled, starting to cry. "So she's going to marry into a family of platinum plated vipers, that's her choice. It's not mine; I ditched that world years ago. She loves Logan; he loves her, that's all well and good. But she's twenty-fucking-two years old, and she's got her romantic life figured out. I'm thirty-eight and I'm still some sort of Bride of Frankenstein or creature from the Black Lagoon. When's someone going to love me? Want me? Not leave me?" she asked, laying her head on his shoulder. "Luke was supposed to be the one that didn't leave me. You won't leave me, will you?"

"No, love," he assured. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good, I don't want to be alone anymore," she said, turning her head, kissing his neck. "I want to feel again," she mumbled, "something…anything," she continued, kissing up to his lips.

She attacked his lips, forcing her tongue into his mouth, pushing his jacket off his shoulders, yanking his shirt out of his pants and ripping the buttons open.

He pushed her back, roughly cupping a breast, pushing her skirt up, pushing her legs apart, and ripping her thong off. They kissed and bit at one another frantically, moving as quickly as their booze soaked bodies would allow them.

"Pants," she panted. "I want your pants off," she frantically groped at his belt, trying to disrobe him.

"I'm trying, love," he gasped, trying to help. A sound outside the door caused him to freeze. "What's that?"

"What?" she gasped. "Why are you hesitating," she hissed. "You've been trying to get in my pants since the moment we met, now I'm letting you fuck me, and you're getting cold feet."

"I heard something," he shushed. Giggling became clearer outside the doors of the pool house kitchen. "Let's go in the bedroom," he breathed, picking up his jacket and her underwear, tucking them in his pants pocket.

"Ace, I'm just a sex object to you, aren't I?" they heard Logan laughing as the door opened in the kitchen.

"Sometimes," she giggled. "It's not like you don't love it."

"I can't really complain," he laughed. "I don't mind being objectified by you. I love you, Ace."

"I love you too, Logan," Rory returned, before things got quieter in the main room of the pool house. The only sounds the rustle of fabric, kissing, murmurs and gasps.

"Why don't we go out through the window?" Finn suggested, whispering in Lorelai's ear. She nodded, following him, letting him help her through the window and out the back.

"I'm going to call for my driver to come take us back to your house," he told her once they were out in the driveway. Her hair was covering her face, her shoes in her hand, hugging her figure. He laid his jacket over her shoulders to try to shield her from the cold.

"I'm never going to have that, am I?" she cried, fist to her mouth, settling into the corner of the car. "No one's ever going to really love just me."

"I don't know, love," he replied, unnecessarily, rubbing her back. "I just don't know."

**FIN**

**AN**: This didn't exactly turn out how I had envisioned it, though it is a sequel to _Blame Finn & Lorelai_, set about two weeks later. I was planning on keeping this light like that one, but it took a not so lighthearted turn, and I just went with it. I should also add that at the time I wrote and posted this on my lj I said to someone that commented that I wasn't sure while writing it if they ended up sleeping together. In rereading all of these to post I'm still not sure, so as I said years ago when I first wrote this, it's up to the reader to decide. This is the last of my Finn & Lorelai stories, I hope y'all've enjoyed.

Since this is a story set at Christmas I wanted to go ahead and post it today. If you celebrate I hope you have a Very Merry Christmas!

Reviews are always appreciated.


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